Have you ever been in a wonderful space where everything seems to be going your way and life is just excellent but you still wake up with an empty feeling deep inside, a gnawing at your consciousness, the thing that keeps you up at night without your really knowing why? I have been living in that place for the last few days. Prayer and meditation are helpful – but somehow don’t eliminate the feeling of dread. Counting your many blessings reminds you why you shouldn’t be feeling this way in the first place. This, of course, only serves to push you even further down the funnel acknowledging how wrong you are for being so ungrateful. Being at work and going through the motions just remind you that you don’t have any control at all… Our destiny, God’s plan can be so elusive in these blue times. I find refuge in expressing these feelings and emotions through this blog in hopes that they are recognizable and even possibly shared by others. It engenders this feeling that we are all in this together. One simple “like” can make all the difference in the world. During these times you don’t want to hear how you just need to “pull it together” nor that this feeling will “pass”. Sometimes a nice deep wallow in the depths of dark despair is just what the doctor ordered. As long as it’s just for a moment. Until you rise back to the surface and your eyes are again opened to the wonders of this beautiful world and this unparalleled experience called life. I guess that’s why they call it the blues.
Ludy van Broekhuizen