I surrender all…

During my time with God in the wee hours thisMom_cute_hair morning, I remember how Mom would always cry when she heard the hymn, I Surrender All. As a young and naïve son, I never understood her tears. What could drive anyone to such an outpouring of emotions? It couldn’t be just this old hymn…

A little more than a year since my Mom’s passing, and having lived enough years to experience a few of my own ups and downs, I have finally been given some insight into my mom’s feelings, her sufferings, pain, and helplessness, her unimaginable burdens – those things that drove her to weep upon hearing that hymn. In spite of life’s crushing disappointments and seemingly insurmountable challenges, she persevered and came out triumphant. Though I have no real say in the matter, I am convinced she has since walked through the pearly gates of heaven and is alive on the other side – overjoyed to finally be one with God.

You see, my mom had a deep and abiding faith. She would always tell me when I shared my problems with her, “Bid maar, Lude. Onze lieve Heer slaapt niet. (Just pray, Lude. Our dear Lord doesn’t sleep).” In those few words she taught me, in essence, to surrender all…

In life we mostly think we can figure it all out by ourselves and we spare God of the many easy moments we have that don’t “require” a divine intervention. This morning, I give thanks for the people who make my life difficult, for the worries, for the stressors, for the circumstances for which I have no answers. It’s especially at these times that I feel closest to God – for that’s when I know I can’t possibly survive out here on my own. I have no choice but to surrender all. I am reminded that God is, in fact, omnipresent in all situations, the good ones, the bad, the ugly, the delightful, the disappointing, the challenging, the “jumping for joy” times as well as the “sobbing on my knees” moments. By giving up control and casting my cares upon God, I am certain of victory; An important lesson of which I lose sight in the shuffle of life’s trials and tribulations. It’s an easy concept to write about in my early morning musings, but so much more challenging to put into practice.

So, Mom, today, I’m going to “just pray”. You were right, surrendering all makes so much more sense.

About helvetius59

Lifelong learner, loyal friend, setting out to take over the world-- but only for the powers of good!
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2 Responses to I surrender all…

  1. lubnaabuzahra2 says:

    I think this article is one of my favorite articles in this blog.
    Crying is deep feelings that one can’t express in words; it’s a blessing!
    I believe that everything happens for a reason and was already planned by a Merciful God, but sometimes suffering from despair, going through devastating experience, or even the continuous inner struggle to stay on the right track makes me helpless… overwhelmed with feelings, thoughts and wounds won’t be able to heal on my own and when i pray i do nothing but cry… yes “just pray” …

    • helvetius59 says:

      Thanks for your comment, Lubna! It compelled to reread the post and brought me back to the day I wrote it and the feelings I was experiencing then. Of course with it came all the tears. Thankful for you, my friend!

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