I was privileged to be among 1400 fellow educators listening to, no wait, interacting with Dan Heath, best selling author of Switch and the keynote speaker at the Carnegie Summit in San Francisco. I was struck by how Dan connected to each of us through his words, gestures. anecdotes, humor, video clips and energy. In my mind, I thought to myself, I want to be a “Dan Heath” – so confident and self assured, telling stories that brought people to tears, asking us to stop for just a moment to ponder about how to create more “moments” in our lives. Moments that matter. Moments that change the world. Moments that have an impact. Lasting moments. Unforgettable and forever moments…

Reflecting on his presentation, I can’t help but feel like I haven’t, especially in the most recent past, been doing very well on creating what Dan calls “peak moments”. You would think given my rather controlling personality that I would be the author and finisher of many peak moments, simply because I want them. But the more organic, spiritual me also has a deeply rooted belief that overall, we are certainly not the authors and finishers but the seekers and stumblers, just trying to keep everything moving in a positive direction with the knowledge that actually, God is in control. And if I believe that even the albeit fewer hairs on my head are numbered and that God knows all, sees all, hears all and orchestrates all for me to live an abundant and meaningful life full of peak moments, then why do I keep trying so hard? Why wake up in the wee hours worrying about future finances, bills to income ratios, and whether life is sustainable were something to happen with work, health or ??

But I want to get back to thinking about increasing the number of peak moments in my life. Living more consciously and deliberately is one way, I think, to get there. Setting aside the have to’s, must do’s and should be’s is also an approach. I don’t “have to” wake up at 6am ever morning and be at work between 7-7:30am – especially given that I have a much more flexible schedule than that. I have boxed myself into this particular “have to”. I “must be” responsible for everything and everyone is another one that has given me a feeling of being trapped – were it just me, I might think differently about it (though I doubt that). I “should be” kinder, better, more successful, etc. is the one that gives me most pause. I grew up with so many should’s in my head.  Blindly believing in all the things we should do and be but ignoring who we truly want to do and be…

There are times I feel like I can’t breathe – possibly caused by a lack of peak moments in my life. The absence of peak moments to me, at times, has been equivalent to a life filled with inconsequential, unimportant, soul destroying moments that can last a lifetime if we let them. So as I search for, orchestrate and endeavor to create more positive moments for myself and others, let me also be mindful that it is not just the peak moments but the in-between moments that can bring joy, laughter and meaning. I hope my soul, heart and mind can be open to all of it.