As the two year anniversary of the passing of my brother, Rene Louis van Broekhuizen, approaches on April 3, the impending doom that we all were feeling then returns as if no time has passed at all. This whole week I kept wondering why I was waking up with a sadness that hovered over me throughout the morning, afternoon, and evening. It didnʻt prevent me from enjoying a dinner out with friends or puttering around in my garden, but it was there.

So in honor of Reneʻs memory, I post my written thoughts that I shared at his grand celebration of life. In my mind, by reading, and rereading what I wrote, it keeps him closer to me. I hope it also gives others insights into this great human that was my brother.

Recollections
My brother Rene and I grew up together in a mostly happy, but chaotic household of 10 people made up of our parents and 8 children.

My earliest memories always feature Rene front and center. From our shared room where we would sing together at night in harmony or in rounds we learned in elementary school music time, play “what letter am I writing on your back?”, tell scary ghost stories in the dark, to reading together in our makeshift -no girls allowed – secret reading room we created out of an attic closet and an old mattress. He loved reading Encyclopedia Brown – and he was so clever – he always figured out the solution while I was still looking for the clue! He taught me to love reading and I still do to this day.

And he never made fun of me for surrounding my bed with stuffed animals for protection from vampires, werewolves, ghosts, and Frankenstein – we were most afraid of vampires because they could fly through the window…

He and I shared a magical childhood of freedom to explore the outdoors and spent most summer days together building dams across the stream in the woods near our house, fearlessly scaling dangerous rock cliffs, and running through a tunnel of profusely blossoming yellow forsythia – it was our own version of the Wizard of Oz-like fields of gold…

Rene was all the things I wished I could be but was not… he was a supreme athlete and excelled at basketball, baseball and soccer – he even ran track – he was super popular in high school with both the socia-s (not sure how to spell this) and the jocks. But he was also an artist and could do Japanese brush work that was so beautiful. He sang in the swing choir in high school which I was too afraid to join because you had to go through an audition process to get in. He had none of the fears I had…

Fast forward years later when I moved to San Francisco and Rene and Gail lived in Monterey and then San Francisco – we spent so many of our early adult years together with Tess and Nikki as babies and toddlers… Rene had the Bay Area restaurant hook up and through his vast network of friendships I could get reservations at any of the most celebrated new restaurants that normally had a months long waiting list. My then boss still claims the best meal she ever had was at McCormick and Kuletos hosted of course by Rene.

Such a kind and generous soul, Rene was the person you could always count on. God knows he bailed me out of credit card debt in my more reckless years and relationships. He created a file for me – and I was so glad to make my last payment to him so my file could be stamped “paid in full”. I think most of us in the family have had a file with Rene at one point or another. And this was something he just offered – because he knows I never would have asked.

The annual Thanksgiving Day feast at Rene and Gail’s was a sit-down affair for forty plus people and we were always in awe of the skills Rene “brought to the table” ensuring hot food was hot and cold food was perfectly chilled. The symphony of Rene and Gail working in concert was a sight to see and admire.

This is but a brief tribute to my brother who meant so much to so many people – to me, I couldn’t have asked for a better person to spend the first 64 years of life with and though we will all miss him profusely- his eternal banquet is just beginning. Bon appetite – Love you, Ren.